As we mature, every decision we face carries greater weight and significance. There comes a pivotal moment when we must actively make these choices; otherwise, the world will make them for us

At times, the process of making these decisions can be quite challenging. We may strive to make choices that benefit our well-being, whether they pertain to our career, such as dedicating more time to study or reading, or to our health, like maintaining a consistent, healthy diet. Regardless of the context, grappling with such decisions can take a toll on us, especially when they deviate from our usual routines. Moreover, there are instances when circumstances beyond our control dictate these decisions, making the process even more intricate.

Liminality is the state of being in transition. We face liminality when we are between social roles and identity - that transition of becoming the better version of ourselves. We are neither in the state of the life before or that new life(mentally). Sbeg states that this is emotionally destabilizing and can lead to an identity crisis. In addition, forcing your life to change can cause stress (cognitive dissonance). As someone diving headfirst into focused reading and writing, I can attest to this feeling. I share my thoughts in my introspection.

Everyone handles this change and state of liminality differently. Good changes can bring opportunity. Individuals who seek out opportunities are more open to change.

What Impacts the way we view change?

Parent Types Impacting the way you view change

The fear that comes with big changes can be learned. With that said, Sbeg describes these parents as anxious. They pass down their worldview that life is filled with danger.

As the old saying goes: "ignorance is bliss". These parents prefer and instill in their children that is best to stick to what is safe and known - do not take risks. In the long run, this leads to their children being paralyzed by the fear of change that comes with opportunity.

Adjustment Disorder

The personal threshold for handling stress is limited. Usually, the person's reaction to coping with a stressful event is not proportional to that event.

Read more about adjustment disorders

The element of uncertainty is universal. Our brain is hardwired to avoid danger and expect the worse. Sbeg suggests that we look at situations from a different lens: rationalize and intellectualize our efforts.

Once we understand that crossing the river of change is the biological, neurological, chemical, and even genetic death of the old self, we have power over change and we can set our sites on the other side of the river. - Jemma Sbeg

Benefits of Embracing Big Life Changes

• You can only grow by facing struggles, being uncomfortable and getting over the stage of liminality.

• Difficult changes can yield a greater understanding of life's purpose.

• It is a good exercise for our brains.

• Gives our lives meaning.

• Makes us realize what we really want.

• Gives us the opportunity to consider where our priorities lie.

• Difficult times stimulate innovation and ingenuity

Sbeg gives wonderful advice to bring a clearer understanding of our goals and values by asking the following questions:

• which friends do you stay in touch with?

• what do you want from your new life?

• what do you want from this new job?

• what is this new version of yourself going to be?

• where do I see myself wasting time and energy?

These are great questions that I urge everyone to answer. It gives us more reassurance to better rationalize and intellectualize our efforts.

All in all, despite the negative events in our past, unpleasant feelings fade over time. Furthermore, there are still lessons to learn in getting through liminality. Making big life changes and decisions is inevitable, so let's embrace them.

Introspection

Maintaining this blog is a significant life change for me, as it requires dedicating time to share my learning experiences. The primary purpose of this blog is to foster growth, both as a developer and as an individual. Although initially fearful of publishing such content, I have come to appreciate the opportunities that a blog can bring to improve myself and connect with others.

There you go!

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope that you took away something of value. What big life change are you currently experiencing?

You can listen to the podcast episode on Spotify here: